5 Ways I'm Holding Myself Back

Part of my excitement of graduating college was the endless possibilities of the creative endeavors put off due to the hours dedicated to school. Yet lately I have been disappointed at the lack of time I give myself to pursue all the ways I feel alive through creating. And the more I think about it, the more I realize it is not that I have a deficit of ideas or inspiration. It’s there, but rather I have this paralyzing fear of all the ways things can go wrong. Even more problematic is that I feel like all my pursuits have to fit perfectly into each other molding this monopoly of who I am and how I communicate my ideas to the world.

It’s almost like I am more fascinated with the idea of a project than the project itself. YIKES.

This is my attempt at pushing myself to just start creating. Even if what I put out there is not perfect, there is something to well just starting despite the fear. Without further ado, here are invisible things that prevent me from creating sometimes.

1. Comparing

Comparing my work up against others and trying to be like others.

2. Trying to be the very best

I want to think outside the box and be original, which is good, but accepting that I do not need top grade equipment to dream and use my mind. I have found that times when I was limited in resources was when I enjoyed the process more as it developed a genuine love for the project itself.

3. Fear of failure

This is holding me back because I get so anxious that I can’t even start. It is often words spoken over me by others that I have held unto.

4. Fear of success

What?! Why would success be holding me back— It's not success in itself but what I might have to lose to gain something so fleeting. What if I’m deemed “successful” in the worlds eyes, but I lose my soul? Ah the things that keep me up at night.

5. Wanting to take the path “destined by God”

The best way to describe this feeling is being suffocating by the pressure of having to follow the exact steps set before me. Which to clarify is not biblical - but man does the enemy try and twist God's love for me.

I realize that the more I give voice to how I feel in the creative process the more free I am to release these feelings. We need more outlets for our soul to connect surrounding to emotion.

How have you experienced a release of emotions through creating? What is holding you back from pursuing creativity?